Understanding Culture Shock

“A man is perfectly entitled to laugh at a thing because he happens to find it incomprehensible. What he has no right to do is to laugh at it as incomprehensible, and then criticise it as if he comprehended it.” - G.K. Chesterton

Although the term “culture shock” is fairly well known, it has a very different meaning within the context of longer term adaptation vs a quick vacation or short term work trip.

We've all heard the travel braggart who never gets culture shock... “I guess I've just travelled enough that nothing shocks me.” Ha! Pride cometh before the fall, as the saying goes. And what a fall it will be!

If you search the internet for the term “stages of culture shock” you'll be rewarded with quite a few articles, essays and even scholarly papers explaining this phenomenon. Though they may disagree in exact terminology or division of the stages, they all look roughly like this:

1. The “Honeymoon Phase”: Everything is new and exciting and wonderful. The novelty and excitement carries you forward.
   
2. Irritation / isolation / frustration / withdrawal: Different people will experience this quite differently but it's basically where things get tough. All the little things that were so easy to overlook or find endearing in the Honeymoon phase become increasingly hard to handle.
3. Gradual adjustment: You start to get the hang of things. It's still tough and it definitely doesn't seem as easy as it was in the Honeymoon phase but you're getting there.
4. Adaptation / acceptance: Some call this stage “biculturalism” but that's likely overreaching. It's the stage where you no longer feel like entirely like a foreigner and you're more comfortable in the culture. You can start to compare your home culture and host culture more objectively.

My favourite analogy for this combines the above with the image of a rope bridge, with the Frustration phase smack in the middle where the bridge is at its least stable and most terrifying, and you probably just looked down. That's about what it feels like.

These aren't going to happen to everyone the same way. I've heard of people who have skipped the Honeymoon phase entirely and of people who have spent an entire two year assignment without ever leaving the Honeymoon phase – only to be knocked solidly into the Frustration phase upon return to the same assignment a year later!

Many people who go on vacation or who take shorter term trips never experience anything beyond the Honeymoon phase. That's partly because the novelty of a situation gives us a certain momentum. You don't feel the need to understand how or why things work the way they do – it's enough that they do and you can follow directions to see and do the things you came for. That works well, especially when there's a clear departure date. You think, “I can handle this for a few days / weeks / months”.

For me, the Honeymoon phase started to wear off quickly as I saw how many simple things I could not intuitively understand how to do. These were anything from buying groceries or ordering food to getting utilities hooked up or dealing with medical issues. There are many things in every culture that are simply intuitive... everyone knows how to do that, so it's not clear to an outsider. I shudder now to think how unaware I was of how immigrants to Canada must struggle in this area. It is truly humbling to fumble around like a child, not knowing how to accomplish what everyone else seems to accomplish so effortlessly.

If I had had the opportunity to return home for a visit while I was in that phase it would have been very difficult to come back to my assignment. It is astonishingly easy to lose sight of everything else during that period in the light of how badly you want to be back in your own culture. Knowing the stages is very helpful at this point because otherwise the only hope you can see is a plane ticket home.

Moving out of that stage is gradual and can take a lot of time. Part of it will involve accepting that you will never understand certain things around you, but that's okay, because the locals don't either. I have some great laughs with local friends here about some of the things they simply accept because it's always been that way. I hope some day to laugh with those same friends in Canada at the odd things in my own culture.

My most memorable “culture shock” experience was not in Asia but in Italy, where I didn't expect it. I had left the Honeymoon phase fairly early on – Rome can do that to you – and my wife and I were on a train between cities. There was an older couple sitting across from us who seemed to be glaring at us and muttering to each other about us. I couldn't think of anything we had done to offend them but I was prepared to accept that perhaps they just didn't like tourists – the Frustration phase can truly turn you into a cynic.

This went on for a couple of hours and became increasingly uncomfortable. Finally the couple broke the silence and I cringed to think what tirade they would unleash upon us, for Italian is truly a wonderful language to express anger in! What a wave of emotions – shock, gratitude, shame – I felt when I found that they had been observing us as we marvelled at the landscape around us and broke in only to try to tell us more about their country.

The lovely couple did not speak a word of English and we spoke almost no Italian, but that didn't stop them. The gentleman pointed things out and animatedly explained (in Italian) what we were passing by just then. His wife smiled and said to him (as near as I can figure) “Darling, they don't speak Italian!” then to us, “You don't speak Italian, do you?” We sadly shook our heads. The kindly old man was undaunted and continued to proudly point at landmarks out the window and give full and complete explanations.

I was amazed at how completely I could misread facial expressions, tone of voice and body language between my own European-based culture and theirs. I was ashamed at how quickly I had assumed the worst, but I am so thankful that the wonderful couple sitting across from us did not let the journey end without breaking that ice.

It is all too easy to end any journey without moving on from the Frustration phase. For some, it's even reason enough to stay at home and never again venture outside of their home culture. That saddens me, because our own cultures are all the richer for the experience of muddling our way through someone else's.

Culture shock is one of the hardest – and most intangible – things you will ever face in travelling. It's also totally worth it.

Theo