One of These Things is Not Like the Others

"The true way to overcome the evil in class distinctions is not to denounce them as revolutionists denounce them, but to ignore them as children ignore them." - G.K. Chesterton

I am a white male who is over six feet tall. When I wander around Southeast Asia, I stand out.

Depending on where you are, quite a variety of experiences await you when you show your white face in public. Here are a few:

You may be treated much better and greeted more warmly than the nationals around you.

I have many times received a warm greeting from security guards when coming into a local mall, when those both in front and behind me didn't get so much as a "hello".

You may be ripped off, or at least charged more than a national would be.

This isn't necessarily a sign of disrespect, even though in our culture it would be. In many places foreigners (and if you're white, you're foreign) are simply assumed to be wealthy. The wealthy can afford to pay more and won't miss it.

People may stop you and ask you to take their picture, or to have their picture taken with you.

Ever been thronged by a group of screaming schoolgirls all wanting a group picture with you? You don't have to be Justin Bieber out here to get that treatment! Again, the cultural reasons for this are complex but one of my friends here told me that while growing up everyone envied the kids who had photos of themselves with white people.

You may be resented for no apparent reason.

This is much rarer, at least where I have been, but you have to appreciate that to many people you represent all foreigners or all rich people. There may be some transference happening there. You have to be gracious and patient in those situations.

You will have amazing opportunities for conversation.

Sometimes I truly wish I was an extrovert so I could appreciate this more. You can start up conversations everywhere you go and meet wonderful and interesting people. You're different and that's almost always an open door to getting to know someone. 

Lonely white people will come talk to you.

It's not at all uncommon to have other white people come up to me and start a conversation as though we've known each other for years. It's tempting to see other westerners as your only allies or compatriots in a foreign land, but your experience is much richer if you step out of that zone and look beyond a shared culture as the basis for companionship!

You will be uncomfortable with your celebrity status.

I don't like being treated either better or worse than people around me. It's not generally socially acceptable to draw attention to it, though, as you may cause the person who is treating you that way to lose face. Also, you need to bear in mind that hospitality is very important in many cultures. A great deal of the special treatment you receive may simply be because you're seen as a guest.

You may be tempted to get used to it.

There are places in Asia where white people are considered to be of a higher status. Even lighter coloured nationals are thought of as a step above their darker cousins, socially. In such places, it can be hard to find any cosmetic products that don't contain skin whiteners.

The dirty little secret of living in such a place is that no matter how you feel about it, it is very easy to become accustomed to the special treatment, especially since you are not supposed to draw attention to it.

To help keep your feet on the ground, it is important to learn the appropriate honorifics for where you are going. Most places have, at the very least, equivalents of "sir" and "ma'am", and many have far more than that. You should especially show respect to those older than you are, age is very important in this part of the world.

You will never be a local.

You just have to accept it, you're always going to stand out. When travelling in Europe I would be quite pleased with myself if I could make a purchase in the local language without resorting to English. I'm sure my accent was atrocious and that I was kidding myself, but I had hoped that perhaps I might have passed for a local.

I'm under no such illusions in Asia. No matter how well I learn the language, no matter how many national friends I have, no matter how long I live here, I will always be a foreigner.

Given how warm and gracious my hosts have been everywhere I have travelled in Asia, though, I suppose that's not such a hardship.

Theo